HEY GUYS GOD WATCHED OVER ME LAST NITE FOR SURE- GOT 8 HOURS OF SLEEP AFTER I SIGNED OFF AND THE HEADACHE WENT AWAY AS WELL WITHOUT THE USE OF MY EMERGENCY SUPPLY OF TYLENOL PM--WITH ALL MY REST I WOKE UP FEELING QUITE CHIPPER - DID SOME LIGHT HOUSEWORK AND PREPARED MYSELF FOR COMPANY- TWO OF ESCUELITA'S GO-GO BOYS STOPPED BY TO VISIT(NOT ALL OF THEM ARE STUCKUP ASSHOLES)-WE CHATTED ABOUT OLD TIMES AND THEN HEADED DOWN TO THE CUBAN RESTAURANT CALLED HARD GROVE IN JERSEY CITY FOR SOME LATIN COMIDA(FOOD)--A GOOD TIME WAS HAD BY ALL (YES THEY KEPT THEIR CLOTHES ON) AND I PUT THEM ON THE VAN TO GO TO NEWPORT MALL- I WASNT EXACTLY IN MALL WEAR SO I DECLINED THE OFFER AND WENT HOME WHERE I HAVE BEEN SINCE- RESTING AND BASKING IN THE ESSENCE OF ALL THE THINGS I CAN BE THANKFUL FOR DURING THIS TEST OF FAITH--ONCE AGAIN I THANK U PEOPLE FOR REACHING OUT TO ME IN YOUR MANY DIFFERENT WAYS AND SHOWING LOVE AND SUPPORT--IM GONNA CLOSE NOW AND LETS CHAT TOMORROW!

ITS FRIDAY AND IM FEELING GOOD--HAD AN ACUPUNCTURE APPT TODAY AND IT SET THE MOOD STRAIGHT FOR ME --I BASICALLY JUST RELAXED ALL DAY AFTER THAT --THE ACUPUNCTURE HELPED WITH MY HEADACHE AS WELL-I BROKE DOWN AND GOT SOME TYLENOL PM JUST IN CASE I NEED IT FOR TONITE(U NEVER KNOW)-- SPECIAL SHOUTOUT TO ALL WHO SENT ME EMAILS ABOUT MISS KALETRA AND HER MESSY WAYS-THIS WEEKEND SHOULD BE SOMEWHAT QUIET FOR ME--GOT SOME FAMILY COMING OVER -I INVITE ANYONE TO COME OVER AS LONG AS THEY BRING FOOD(I DONT COOK)--ALTHOUGH ITS ONLY 9PM AT THE TIME IM WRITING THIS I AM GONNA TRY AND CALL IT A NITE--WILL HIT U ALL UP OVER THE WEEKEND-

HOPE U ENJOYED THE GREAT WEATHER TODAY CUZ I DID--ULLALIA AND I WENT OUT AND GOT WHEATGRASS SHOTS THIS MORNING(SHE HATED IT) THEN WE TURNED THE 99CENT STORE OUT WITH MY 20.00 BILL --WE WERE LIKE KIDS IN THERE TILL THE CASHIER RANG UP A GRAND TOTAL OF 21.08 AND I HAD TO PUT BACK THE GUMMI BEARS (DAMN)-- I DID SOME BLOODWORK THIS AFTERNOON AS WELL SO THE RESULTS OF ALL THAT SHOULD BE ARRIVING TO MY DOCTOR JUST IN TIME FOR MY APPT ON FRIDAY 5/5. NOW I DID CALL THE DOCTOR TODAY TO FIND OUT WHAT ALTERNATIVES I HAD TO KALETRA--HE IS AT A CONFERENCE AND WONT BE BACK TILL MONDAY- SO WHAT DO I DO NOW? IM GONNA BE HONEST WITH U HERE AS ALWAYS - I HAVE DECIDED UNTIL I ACTUALLY SPEAK TO HIM TO CUT MY DOSE IN HALF-- MEANING I WILL TAKE TWO IN THE MORN AND SKIP THE TWO AT NITE--IM SURE SOME OF U POZ PEOPLE MAY READ ME FOR THIS BUT A GIRL NEEDS SOME REST --ITS ONLY FOR THE WEEKEND AND IM SURE IT WONT RUIN ME-- THE MORNING DOSE IS ALWAYS FINE BUT THAT 2ND DOSE WEARS ME OUT WITH BLURRY VISION, INSOMNIA AND A SPLITTING HEADACHE(THAT AINT CUTE AT 2AM)--I ACTUALLY JUST GOT BACK FROM WHOLE FOODS IN MONTCLAIR NEW JERSEY WHERE SOME FRIENDS JOHN AND KIESHA(BIG SUNBEAM FANS FROM ESCUELITA) TOOK ME THERE AND BACK GIVING ME QUALITY TIME TO KEKE WITH THEM THIS EVENING --SPECIAL THANKS TO KEITH BOYKIN AND LENOX LOUNGE FOR SPREADING THE WORD ABOUT MY UPCOMING BENEFIT SHOW AT LANGSTONS IN BROOKLYN 5/18--ALSO FOR THOSE WHO WERE ASKING THE PAYPAL IS ALL SET ON THE SITE--WHEN U LOG ON CATCH THE DONATION BUTTON UNDER MY BREAST --CLICK IT AND YOU WILL RECIEVE LOW FAT SKIM MILK --ACTUALLY U WOULD JUST GET THE DETAILS ON HOW TO SEND THE DONATION(LOL)---SO I JUST TOOK A BAYER ASPIRIN AFTER 2 DAYS OF THIS SPLITTING HEADACHE I DIDNT WANT TO SWALLOW ANOTHER PILL BUT LIKE I SAID ENUFF IS ENUFF-- ITS PRETTY EARLY AS I WRITE THIS BUT IM ASSUMING NOTHING ELSE WILL TRANSPIRE FOR THE REST OF THE EVENING THAT WILL BE WORTHY OF THE BEAM'S BLOG---I ALSO WANTED TO MENTION THAT I ENJOY READING YOUR COMMENTS ON THE BLOG AND APPRECIATE THE TIME U TAKE TO WRITE THEM-- SO KEEP ON COMMENTING!---AT THIS TIME I WILL CLOSE OUT FOR THE NITE AND WISH U ALL A BLESSED AND STRESS FREE FRIDAY!

WELL IM STILL UP FROM WHEN I DID THE 5AM ENTRY TODAY-- THE HEADACHE AND BLURRY VISION ARE STILL PLAGUING ME INTENSELY --THE DOCTOR ISNT THERE ON WED(GOLF DAY) SO I LEFT A MESSAGE-- BY FRIDAY HE HAS TO COME UP WITH A NEW GAME PLAN AND TAKE ME OFF KALETRA-- THIS IS NOT LIVING!--NO I AM NOT GIVING UP THE FIGHT I JUST NEED TO EXPLORE OTHER OPTIONS THAT WONT GIVE ME SO MUCH DRAMA WITH SIDE EFFECTS--I CANT DEAL WITH THE INSOMNIA OR THE EXTRA TOE THATS GROWING ON MY RIGHT FOOT(JOKE)--ON TO THE GOOD STUFF--A FRIEND/FAN PICKED ME UP TODAY AND TOOK ME TO BJ'S TO GET SOME THINGS--LATER ON IN THE EVENING I WAS ONCE AGAIN WHISKED AWAY TO DINNER AND TOP MODEL AT ANOTHER FRIEND/FAN VILLA--BOTH EXPERIENCES WERE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT AND YET THEY HAD A POWERFUL IMPACT--IT FEELS GOOD TO DEAL W/PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY DO WHAT THEY SAY-THE SAD PART ABOUT BEING ILL IS THAT SOME PEEPS OFFER TO HELP AND THEN NEVER MATERIALIZE WITH WHATEVER THEY ARE GOING TO DO (HOW SAD AND TRIFLING)-- TODAYS EVENTS GIVES ME FAITH IN REAL PEOPLE WHO LIVE BY THEIR WORD- I WONT FOCUS ON THE FLAKES SINCE THERE HAVE BEEN WAY TOO MANY ANGELS ON MY SIDE DURING THIS WHOLE SITUATION AND THEY OUTWEIGH AND MAKE UP FOR ALL THE FLAKES--TOP MODEL HMMM-- THE SHADE IS REALLY THICK NOW--THE BALD CHICK WAS RELEASED AND MISS GHETTO REALNESS WAS ALSO SCRUTINIZED-WHO WILL WIN FOLKS ? PLEASE COMMENT-I MISSED AMERICAN IDOL SINCE I WATCHED THE DOUBLE SERVICE OF ANTM--FILL ME ON THAT ONE IF U CAN AS WELL--IN CLOSING U MAY GET LIKE 10 MORE ENTRIES TONITE SINCE I WILL BE UP ALL *&((&(&-- NITE (JUST JOKING) I WILL BE UP BUT I PROBABLY WILL BE IN TOO MUCH DISCOMFORT TO WRITE AGAIN -BOTTOM LINE - I WILL SEE U ALL TOMORROW! WISHING U A GOOD NITE AND IF U NEED A WAKEUP CALL ANYTIME BETWEEN 2AM AND 7AM SEND AN EMAIL CUZ I WILL BE PERCHED STARING AT THE CEILING AND COUNTING DONUTS (SHEEP ARE BORING)

HERES TO HOPING ALL YOU PEEPS THAT READ THIS STAY INSPIRED AND ENCOURAGED IN WHATEVER TRIALS AND DIFFICULTIES U MAY FACE IN LIFE-- YESTERDAY STARTED OUT PRETTY NORMAL FOR ME-NOTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY - PEACHES(MY CAT) WAS HER USUAL SHADY SELF SITTING PERCHED IN THE WINDOW WISHING SHE SHE COULD BE OUTSIDE PLAYING WITH THE PITBULL FROM UPSTAIRS--I HAD TO PULL MY HOME ATTENDANT(ULALLIA) TO THE SIDE-EVERYTIME I SEND HER TO THE STORE SHE TAKES HER SWEET TIME AND COMES BACK JUST IN TIME TO PUNCH OUT FOR THE DAY-- ITS AN OLD STUNT MIJA SO DONT TRY IT WITH ME- I HAD TO CHASTISE(READ) HER EVERSO FIERCELY IN ENGLISH, SPANISH, EBONICS AND PIG LATIN!--I THINK SHE GOT MY POINT DURING ONE OF THE LANGUAGE PRESENTATIONS--THE REST OF THE DAY WAS FINE--UNTIL MED TIME--THAT DAMN KALETRA IS WEARING ME THIN--I TRY NOT TO HAVE A NEGATIVE ATTITUDE TOWARDS TAKING THE PILLS SINCE IT AFFECTS U MENTALLY(I HOPE U KNEW THAT ALREADY)--I FEEL WHEN I TAKE IT THE PILL GOES STRAIGHT TO MY HEAD INSTEAD OF THROUGHOUT MY BODY-I CANT SLEEP,MY VISION GETS SOMEWHAT BLURRY AND I HAVE THE ULTIMATE HEADACHE--I JUST LAY IN BED STARING AT THE CEILING AND ASKING GOD TO LESSEN THE DRAMA ASSOCIATED WITH THIS MEDICATION- I WAS NEVER BIG ON WESTERN MEDICINE SINCE IT DOESNT INCORPORATE THE WHOLE PERSON(MIND-BODY-SOUL) BUT AT THE CURRENT TIME IN MY CONDITION I NEED A RADICAL CHANGE IN NUMBERS AND ALTHOUGH THE BODY HAS THE ABILITY TO HEAL ITSELF (IF TREATED PROPERLY)RIGHT NOW IT WOULD BE A VERY LENGTHY PROCESS TO PURSUE WITHOUT MEDS-- LONG STORY SHORT- I HAVE BEEN UP FOR THE LAST 10 HOURS TRYING TO DO THIS VERY BLOG ENTRY U ARE READING NOW BUT MY HEAD IS POUNDING AND I DONT WANT TO ADD ANOTHER PILL (TYLENOL OR ASPIRIN) TO MY REGIMENT RIGHT NOW --NOW THATS ITS 5AM AND A DIVA IS GOOD AND EXHAUSTED I WILL WAIT ANOTHER 3 HOURS AND CALL MY DOCTOR TO SEE WHAT HE HAS TO SAY --DO ANY KALETRA USERS OUT THERE KNOW IF THESE CRAZY SIDE EFFECTS SUBSIDE AFTER AWHILE OR ARE THEY JUST PART OF YOUR DAILY ROUTINE AND U JUST GET USED TO IT? I DONT REALLY WANT TO SWITCH SO FAST SINCE I MAY BE GOING FROM BAD TO WORSE WITH THE NEXT MED BUT LIKE I SAID I WILL SEE WHAT THE GOOD DOCTOR HAS TO SAY-- I HAVE TAKEN LOTS OF TIME TODAY- I WILL CLOSE FOR NOW-- STAY TUNED FOR AN UPDATE ON THE PAYPAL FEATURE THAT WILL BE ADDED TO THE SITE, MY UPCOMING WELFARE OFFICE VISIT AND WHATEVER ELSE I FORGOT TO MENTION DUE TO MY LACK OF SLEEP-- HAVE A STRESS FREE DAY AND REMEMBER TO ALWAYS PUT GOD FIRST!

HEY GUYS, GALS AND ALL THOSE INBETWEEN- I TOOK YESTERDAY OFF AND KINDA ADJUSTED TO MY NEW MED SCHEDULE AND SINCE THE WEATHER WAS SO MESSY I JUST RELAXED AND LATER ON IN THE EVENING SOME FRIENDS DROPPED BY TO SAY HELLO--THE STEROIDS THEY HAD ME ON FOR 21 DAYS HAD ME SO HUNGRY THAT I WAS A ABSOLUTE MESS- ANY AND EVERYTHING I WAS PUTTING IN MY MOUTH - IT GOT SO BAD I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE THAT I WAS EATING FOOD WITHOUT TAKING IT OUT OF THE CAN FIRST-NOW THAT THATS OVER I CAN EFFECTIVELY START EATING HEALTHIER AND GETTING MYSELF ON TRACK-I HAVE LOTS OF APPTS THIS WEEK TO GET THINGS IN ORDER WITH MY LIFE AND I NEED TO DO THEM WITH AS LITTLE DRAMA AS POSSIBLE-- THE BIG DAY FOR WELFARE WILL PROBABLY BE THURSDAY SINCE I NEED SOME PAPERWORK FILLED OUT BY MY DOC AND THAT MAY TAKE A DAY OR TWO-- I AM DREADING GETTING THERE SO EARLY BUT AINT NO SENSE IN GOING AT THE TIME THEY SUPPOSED TO OPEN AND BEING NUMBER 768 ON THE LIST--A GIRL WILL BE PERCHED WITH A BOOK AND IPOD FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES(I JUST HOPE I HEAR WHEN THEY CALL MY DAMN NAME)--STILL WORKING ON THE PAYPAL FEATURE OF THE WEBSITE AND SOME OTHER CHANGES AS WELL-WILL KEEP U POSTED ON ALL OF IT-THINK POSITIVE(NO PUN INTENDED) AND HAVE A BLESSED DAY!

WELL DESPITE THE NASTY WEATHER I HAD A GOOD DAY - GOT MY HAIR CUT AND GOATEE TRIMMED(NOT DOING DRAG HAS ITS ADVANTAGES)--OF COURSE THOSE WHO FOLLOW THE BLOG KNOW THAT TONITE WAS THE MARY MARY / KIRK FRANKLIN CONCERT AT RADIO CITY-- I HAD TO BUNDLE UP FIERCELY WITH THIS TRICKY WEATHER -- I HAD A GREAT TIME AT THE SHOW WITH TWO SPECIAL FRIENDS BERNARD AND LOUIS(BIG SUNBEAM FANS) --IT WAS GREAT TO GET OUT AND SEE FRIENDS/CO -WORKERS (I WORK PART-TIME AT RADIO) AND THE SHOW -- I REALLY NEEDED THAT TODAY -- TODAY WAS ALSO THE LAST DAY OF 2 PNUEMONIA MEDS AND MY SHINGLES MEDICATION SO I HAD REASON TO GO AND CELEBRATE IN A INSPIRATIONAL WAY-- THE ONLY CRAZY NEWS TODAY WAS THAT I GOT A REJECTION LETTER FROM UNEMPLOYMENT WHICH I HAVE NEVER COLLECTED IN ALL MY 37 YEARS SO I DONT KNOW WHAT THE DISCREPANCY WAS--NOW I HAVE TO TAKE THAT LETTER AND GO TO WELFARE-- HARMONICA ON WELFARE! DAMN THATS FUCKED UP! SHIT HAPPENS AND I DONT FEEL THAT BAD I HEARD THAT WHOOPI GOLDBERG WAS ON WELFARE B4 SHE BLEW UP SO THIS MAY BE A GOOD SIGN(LOL) --I HAVE APPLIED FOR DISABILITY BUT THAT WILL TAKE ABOUT 3 MONTHS TO ACTUALLY RECEIVE A CHECK OR AN OFFICIAL ANSWER- SO UNTIL THEN ITS HARMONICA GETTING WELFARE AND FOOD STAMPS-- A GIRL GOTTA DO WHAT A GIRLS GOTTA DO-- I JUST HATE THE FACT HOW THEY TREAT SOME PEOPLE DOWN THERE AND ALL THE DAMN QUESTIONS BUT I WILL HAVE TO GET OVER THAT TUESDAY MORNING WHEN I PUMP THROUGH- OF COURSE THEY OPEN AT 8AM BUT THE LINE STARTS AT 6AM AND BE WRAPPED AROUND THE CORNER AS IF U WERE AT GREAT ADVENTURE WAITING FOR KINGDOM KA-- WELL GUYS I CANT SAY LET ME GET SOME REST CUZ MISS KALETRA KEEPS ME UP ALL DAMN NITE -- I WILL LAY IN BED AND CLOSE MY EYES TIGHT AND HOPE I FALL ASLEEP ---ENUFF FOR NOW JOIN ME IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF "GAYS OF OUR LIFE"--LOL

WELL TODAY WAS PRETTY COOL FOR ME -- A FRIEND DROVE ME INTO THE CITY TO GET MY EARS CANDLED THIS AFTERNOON- ITS A GREAT NATURAL PROCEDURE THAT HELPS TO REMOVE UNWANTED WAX AND TOXINS FROM YOUR EARS AND SINCE I HAVE CANDIDA(YEAST INFECTION) IN MY ESOPHAGUS IT PROBABLY HAS MOVED UP TO MY EARS AS WELL-I THEN STOPPED BY MY FAVORITE HEALTH FOOD STORE LIFETHYME ON 6TH AVE MADE SOME PURCHASES AND HEADED HOME--I HAVE ADJUSTED TO WALKING AGAIN ITS JUST STAIRS THAT TURN ME OUT FOR -THOUGH THIS TOO SHALL PASS-I HAVE DECIDED TOMORROW TO TAKE A FRIENDS INVITATION TO GO TO THE MARY MARY/KIRK FRANKLIN CONCERT AT RADIO CITY TOMORROW- WEATHER IS GONNA BE A MESS BUT I WILL DRESS ACCORDINGLY AND ARRANGE PROPER TRANSPORT-- NOT SURE WHERE IM SITTING YET BUT IF ANYONE THAT READS THIS IS IN THE HOUSE LOOK FOR THE SKINNY GUY WITH THE BIG BLESSED SMILE!---THAT IS PRETTY MUCH IT FOR TODAY-- I WANT U ALL TO HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND AND I AM WORKING ON THAT PAYPAL SITUATION --I GOT GOOD FEEDBACK ON IT VIA EMAIL FROM SEVERAL FOLKS WHO THOUGHT IT WAS THE WAY TO GO-- SPEAKING OF WAY TO GO -CIAO

WELL I EARLIER THIS MORNING I PROMISED U TWO ENTRIES FOR TODAY AND HERE WE GO--AFTER GETTING MY SEQUINED TUBE TOP AND LEATHER DAISY DUKES OUT OF THE CLEANERS I DECIDED TO TAKE A NICE LEISURELY WALK HOME-- WORKED OUT JUST FINE (THANK U GOD) - NO PROBLEMS WITH MY HOME ATTENDANT TODAY- JUST HAD TO KEEP HER ON LOCKDOWN SINCE EVERY TIME I SEND MOMMA TO THE STORE SHE BE GONE WAY TOOOOOO LONG --SHE KNOW HER SHIFT AINT BUT 3 HOURS -- SHE IS A GREAT HELP THOUGH --MY CAT PEACHES IS BACK TO HER NORMAL SELF- TWO DAYS AGO I GOT HER SOME CAT FOOD FROM THE 99 CENT STORE(BIG ASS BAG TOO) AND SHE ACT LIKE SHE WASNT GOING TO EAT IT-- WELL AFTER DAY ONE HUNGER GOT THE BEST OF HER AND SHE CAME TOGETHER-- I THINK I WILL PURCHASE SOMETHING BETTER FOR HER THIS WEEKEND AND THEN MIX THE TWO -- AS FAR AS MY INSOMNIA I JUST WOKE UP FROM THIS CRAZY NAP JUST NOW -- DOES ANYONE OUT THERE TAKE KALETRA ? I NEED TO TALK TO U ASAP-- FOR PRIVACY AND SECURITY DONT COMMENT HERE JUST SEND ME AN EMAIL AT TRAKK13@AOL.COM-- ONE OF THE BLOG READERS SUGGESTED I OPEN A PAYPAL ACCOUNT IN CASE SOMEONE WANTED TO SEND ME A LOVE OFFERING --NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT -- WILL LOOK INTO IT AND SEE WHAT DEVELOPS--- A BUDDY IS HERE TO TAKE ME FOR A QUICK RIDE SO I WILL CLOSE THIS OUT BY SAYING TALK SOON AND ALWAYS PUT GOD FIRST IN YOUR LIFE!

WELL AROUND 10PM TODAY I WAS FINALLY GONNA HIT U UP WITH AN ENTRY -- I HAD A LATE NITE VISITOR STOP BY AND COMPLETELY FORGOT --DONT GET ANY CRAZY IDEAS -IT WAS MY AUNT WITH SOME CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP--- SO HERE I AM UP AND LOOKING CRAZY DUE TO THE FACT THAT MY NEW GIRLFRIEND KALETRA(HIV DRUG) HAS INSOMNIA AS A SIDE EFFECT ---AFTER CAREFUL INTERET RESEARCH I FOUND OUT I WAS TAKING THE LAST DOSE OF TWO TABLETS WAY TOO LATE IN THE EVENING SO TONITE I TOOK IT AT 8PM AND I AM STILL GAGGING AND RESTLESS-- THEY SAY SHE IS VERY POWERFUL AND CAN BUST A VIRUS DOWN LIKE A WOMAN SCORNED - SO I WILL STICK IT OUT AND SEE WHAT SHE HAS DONE FOR ME IN ONE MONTH OF SERVICE -- IT IS RUMORED THAT SHE PUMPS THE MUCH NEEDED T-CELLS UP TO QUITE A CUTE NUMBER IN A SHORT TIME -- RIGHT NOW I HAVE TWO AND IF SHE DOESNT HELP A SISTER OUT I MAY HAVE TO BUY SOME ON EBAY---THATS IT FOR NOW - U WILL GET ANOTHER ENTRY LATER TODAY CUZ IM SURE MY HOME ATTENDANT(ULALLIA) OR MY CAT(PEACHES) WILL DO SOMETHING FOR ME TO CHAT WITH U ABOUT !

HEY GUYS ANOTHER BLESSED DAY HAPPENING FOR ME - IM GAGGING AT THE EMAILS OF LOVE AND SUPPORT STILL COMING IN--THANK U -THEY KEEP ME MOTIVATED TO FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT---MANY OFFERS OF HELP ARE ALSO POURING IN AS WELL-LIKE I SAID B4 JUST BE A MAN OF YOUR WORDS AND STICK TO WHAT U SAY U GONNA DO -I NEVER TOLD YOU ABOUT MY NEW HOME ATTENDANT ULALLIA FROM GUATAMALA -- SHE IS MANY THINGS BUT SHE WILL GET YOUR NASTY APT TOGETHER IN A HEARTBEAT-- I HAVE SOME TROUBLE WITH HER GOING TO THE STORE AND NOT COMING BACK IN A REASONABLE TIME BUT THATS COOL- SHE IS WITH ME ON TUES AND THURS FOR 3 HOURS AND ITS A GREAT HELP--SHE THINKS IM STRAIGHT(JOKE)--THIS COMP REALLY NEEDS TO BE WORKED ON --DOES ANYONE KNOW OF A RELIABLE AND TRUSTWORTHY COMPUTER REPAIR SERVICE THAT COMES TO YOUR HOME? REMEMBER I LIVE IN JERSEY CITY SO DONT GIVING ME NO INFO ON ONE IN IDAHO-THE MARCH OF THE PENGUINS IS ON ITS WAY GUYS--I WATCHED IT ONCE BUT TO GIVE U THE TOTAL TEA I WILL WATCH IT AGAIN AND FOR SOME REASON I HAVE NEVER WATCHED ANY MOVIE TWICE SO THIS IS A FIRST-- TAKE CARE --KEEP GOD FIRST IN YOUR LIFE AND EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT!

I FINALLY GOT SOME SLEEP LAST NITE GUYS AND I FEEL GREAT --I EVEN VENTURED OUT (BY CAR) TO DO SOME MUCH NEEDED ERRANDS -- THIS IS THE LAST WEEK OF THE PNUEMONIA MEDS SO I AM IN A RUSH FOR SAT TO COME--IN FACT I MAY CELEBRATE BY GOING TO THE KIRK FRANKLIN/MARY MARY CONCERT AT RADIO CITY- I JUST HAVE TO ARRANGE TRANSPORT THERE AND BACK SINCE THE PATH AND SUBWAY WOULD BE WAY TOO MUCH ON ME RIGHT NOW-- WHY ARE PEOPLE WEARING SHORTS AND TANK TOPS? I WAS OUT PERCHED WITH A JEAN JACKET AND A WOOL HAT AND THEY LOOKED AT ME LIKE I WAS CRAZY(GO FIGURE)-- I THINK I WILL WATCH TOP MODEL THIS WEEK AND AMERICAN IDOL BUT ONCE PARIS GOES IM OUT THE PICTURE--JUST IN CASE ANYONE WANTS TO KNOW MY NEW CD WITH A BONUS DVD IS OUT AND ON SALE AT ESCUELITA IN PERSON AND ON THE THEIR WEBSITE-- THE SONG IS CALLED "THIS IS THE BEAT" ITS PROBABLY CONSIDERED OLD NOW SINCE IT WAS LEAKED TO THE INTERNET ABOUT A YEAR AGO(I FEEL LIKE LITTLE KIM NOW)-- THE DVD IS CUTE AND COULD MAKE CREATE SOME KE-KE'S AT YOUR NEXT DINNER PARTY!
MY CAT IS HERE WAITING FOR ME TO SIGN OFF SO HE CAN GO INTO THE CHATROOM CATS4CATS SO LET ME GO-- CIAO

GREETINGS ON THIS SUNDAY DAY-- AS YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED THE WEBSITE IS CURRENTLY BEING ALTERED TO FOCUS ON THE BLOG SINCE IM NOT PERFORMING THESE DAYS - STANDBY FOR MORE CHANGES AND OFFER FEEDBACK IF U LIKE - IT MAY NOT CHANGE ANYTHING BUT I WOULD STILL LIKE TO HEAR ABOUT IT--SOME OF U MAY BE WONDERING ABOUT THE LLCOOLJ PIC ON THE SITE--A FRIEND ASKED ME TO ADVERTISE IT AND HE IS HOOKING ME UP WITH AN
AGENCY THAT PAYS PEOPLE TO ADVERTISE THEIR STUFF ON A WEBSITE FOR A PERIOD OF TIME -- SO THIS MAY BE SOME INCOME FOR ME DEPENDING ON HOW IT ALL GOES DOWN--THE WEBMASTER JUST HAS TO MAKE APPROPIATE SPACE FOR THE AD (AWAY FROM MY FACE)LOL----I WILL NOT BE DOING THE MOTP REVIEW TODAY -STAY TUNED THIS WEEK THOUGH--BASICALLY I AM REALLY OUT OF IT --THE 3 NEW MEDS I HAVE ADDED TO MY REGIMENT ARE WEARING ME OUT--- I HAVE NO DESIRE TO GET OUT OF BED OR DO ANYTHING FOR NOW-- THIS WILL WEAR OFF ONCE MY BODY GETS ADJUSTED TO THE MADNESS--I HAVE CRIED ABOUT 45 TIMES TODAY SOMETIMES FOR NO REASON AT ALL AND NOW WHEN I CRY TEARS DONT EVEN COME OUT-- I GUESS IM ALL CRIED OUT IN THE NAME OF LISA LISA-- I WILL LOOK INTO BUYING MORE TEARS ON EBAY TONITE(LOL)--WHEN I MAKE JOKES LIKE THAT IT HELPS ME TO DEAL WITH MY SITUATION SO PLEASE DONT TAKE IT THE WRONG WAY--IN CLOSING FOR SOME STRANGE REASON I HAVENT SLEPT MORE THAN 2 HOURS A DAY SINCE FRIDAY -- ITS VERY SCARY AT THIS POINT SINCE I AM TIRED AS HELL BUT I CANT FALL ASLEEP FOR LONG-- I DONT WANT TO TAKE ANYTHING SINCE IM ALREADY ON HALF OF THE
DRUGS IN DUANE READE-- TONITE I WILL HOPEFULLY GET SOME REST --IN CLOSING I DONT REALLY WATCH TV BUT I WOULD LIKE SOME JUICY DIRT ON WHO YOU THINK IS GONNA WIN TOP MODEL AND AMERICAN IDOL-- WHEN U COMMENT SPICE IT UP AND MAKE IT HOT! TALK SOON

YESTERDAY I ADDED THE HIV MEDS TO THE OTHER MEDICATION AND I AM GOOD AND TIRED-- I JUST FEEL SO BLAH AND NOT REALLY WANTING TO DO ANYTHING -- I KNOW THAT IT WILL TAKE A WEEK OR SO FOR MY BODY TO ADJUST TO THE DRUGS SO I MUST BE PATIENT AND ENDURE THE SITUATION---AT LEAST NEXT SAT I STOP TAKING THE MEDS FOR PCP WHICH SHOULD REDUCE MY PILL INTAKE DRASTICALLY-- I WAS THINKING ABOUT TAKING THEM ALL AT ONCE BY MAKING A SMOOTHIE AND THREWING THEM PUNKS IN THE BLENDER-- THATS PROBABLY A BAD IDEA THOUGH SO I BETTER STICK TO THE TRADITIONAL ORAL METHODS-- I DID GO OUT TO GET SOME GROCERIES TODAY IN THE CITY A FRIEND DROVE ME TO LIFETHYME (HEALTH FOOD STORE ON 6TH AVE)--SO I DID GET TO ENJOY SOME SUN TODAY-- I THOUGHT ABOUT GOING TO CHURCH TOMORROW AND THE FUNNY THING IS I DONT GO ON EASTER USUALLY SINCE I DONT DO FASHION SHOWS(U KNOW WHAT I MEAN)BUT I FELT I NEEDED TO GO THEN I SAID " YOUR NECK IS COVERED IN SHINGLES BOO AND IT DOESNT LOOK CUTE"-- SO I BASICALLY HAVE CHURCH IN THE HOUSE TOMORROW AND GIVE TIME FOR THE SHINGLES TO GO AWAY WHICH SHOULD BE ABOUT 4 MORE DAYS--SPECIAL SHOUTOUT TO POCC FOR SENDING ME 3 TEDDYBEARS --THEY SENT THEM TO THE HOSPITAL BUT I ALREADY CHECKED OUT SO THE HOSPITAL MAILED THEM TO ME--HOW NICE OF THEM WAS THAT? IM HERE JUST RESTING AND EXPECTING A VISITOR SOON WHO IS COMING WITH FOOD-- I LOVE FOOD---IM GONNA WATCH MARCH OF THE PENGUINS TONITE AND PROBABLY TALK ABOUT IT IN THE MORN --I DONT KNOW WHY I WANTED TO SEE THIS MOVIE SO BAD--HAS ANYONE SEEN IT AND IF SO HOW DID YOU LIKE IT?

THIS MORNING I WOKE UP AND DECIDED TO ORDER A SOME BREAKFAST TO COAT MY STOMACH B4 I TAKE ALL THESE NEW MEDS--WELL I PLACED THE ORDER AND THE DELIVERY GUY WASNT GONNA BE IN TILL ABOUT 45MINUTES LATER - I THOUGHT ABOUT IT AND DIDNT WANT TO RUIN MY PILL SCHEDULE AND THE NEXT WORDS I WAS MOUTHING WAS "I'LL COME PICK IT UP"-- NOW KEEP IN MIND THIS DELI IS 2 1/2 BLOCKS FROM MY HOUSE AND I HAVENT REALLY LEFT MY HOUSE SINCE THE HOSPITAL RELEASE (WALKING WISE)--GOD SAID GO AND GET YOUR FOOD AND I GOT OUTSIDE WITHOUT A PROBLEM AND BASICALLY DID A SEMI PUMP TO THE DELI(THANK U JESUS)--THE SHADE FACTOR CAME WHEN I GOT TO THE DELI AND THEY SAID THE DELIVERY BOY CAME IN AND WE SENT HIM TO THE HOUSE-- I WAS LIKE CHILE I PUMPED UP OVER HERE WITH ALL MY STRENGTH AND NOW HE IS PERCHED ON MY PORCH? --- I DIDNT GET UPSET THOUGH BECAUSE IT WAS A TEST FOR ME AND I PASSED WITH FLYING COLORS-- ALSO SINCE TODAY I HAVE TO DO BLOODWORK FOR MY NEW DOC AND THAT BUILDING IS ACROSS THE STREET FROM THE DELI I KNEW THAT I WOULD BE JUST FINE LATER ON FOR THAT VENTURE-- MY BREATHING IS BECOMING ALOT MORE NORMAL AS WELL AS MY HEART RATE WHICH WERE THE TWO THINGS THAT PREVENTED ME FROM BEING ACTIVE-- NEXT SAT WILL BE THE END OF PCP REGIMENT THEN I CAN CONCENTRATE JUST ON HIV MEDS---SINCE THE MEDS WORK DIFFERENTLY WITH EACH INDIVIDUAL ITS GONNA BE A WAIT & SEE AS TO HOW FAST I IMPROVE --KEEP PRAYING FOR ME AND I WILL PRAY FOR U-- HAVE A BLESSED HOLIDAY AND WEEKEND

HAPPY THURSDAY - AS U MAY KNOW TODAY WAS MY FIRST VISIT TO MY NEW INFECTIOUS DISEASE DOCTOR- HE WAS VERY PROFESSIONAL AND I THINK THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF A WONDERFUL RELATIONSHIP-- WHAT I DREADED FROM THE VISIT WAS THE ONSLAUGHT OF PRESCRIPTIONS HE WROTE TO GET ME BACK ON TRACK--SO STARTING TOMORROW IN ADDITION TO THE MEDICATION FOR PCP I WILL BE ADDING A COCKTAIL OF KALETRA AND TRUVADA AS WELL 4 OTHER MEDS TO KEEP ME ALIVE AND KICKING-- ITS GONNA BE A MINUTE B4 I SEE ANY IMPROVEMENTS BUT GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT--AS FAR AS MY WEIGHT IS CONCERNED THAT WILL COME IN DUE TIME- BY THE WAY DOES ANYONE KNOW IF THE FORD AGENCY IS LOOKING FOR A 116 POUND MALE SUPERMODELS? I DO HAVE A HEADSHOT----ALL IN ALL THOUGH TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY AND I ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING TO BE THANKFUL SINCE MY SITUATION COULD BE A LOT WORSE- I PRAISE GOD FOR BEING WITH ME THROUGHOUT THE DAY BECAUSE IF IT WERENT FOR HIM I TRULY WOULDNT BE HERE TODAY---ON A SAD NOTE SEEMS THAT SOME CATTY KIDS BROKE INTO MY DRAG CABINET AT ESCUELITA AND STOLE SOME ITEMS--- SHIT HAPPENS BUT THAT IS REAL TIRED!--BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR A SICKENING HONEYBLONDE UPDO IT MAY SHOW UP ON A BALL OR TALENT SHOW NEAR U!-- CLOSING THIS MESSAGE OUT AND WISHING U ALL A BLESSED GOOD FRIDAY AND HAPPY EASTER.

HEY GUYS - ANOTHER GOOD DAY FOR ME-- MY BREATHING IS NOT AS GREAT AS YESTERDAY BUT IM FINE-- TEARS OF JOY WILL FALL ONCE IM OFF THIS HEAVY DOSE OF BACTRIM AND PREDISONE FOR MY PCP INFECTION AND THEN I CAN MOVE ON TO ADJUSTING TO THE HIV MEDS-- I AM GOING TO MY FIRST DOCTORS APPT TOMORROW - SO PRAY THAT THIS RELATIONSHIP WORKS WELL FOR ME--ITS VERY HARD TO FIND A DOCTOR YOU ARE COMFORTABLE AND THAT UNDERSTANDS YOU ---ON A REALLY HIGH NOTE JUST TO REMIND YOU OF HOW GOOD GOD IS--SOMEONE SENT AN EMAIL AND ASKED FOR MY ADDRESS AND TODAY I RECEIVED A BEAUTIFUL BLESSING TO HELP ME THROUGH MY CURRENT SITUATION-- I WONT GO INTO DETAIL BUT THIS ACT OF KINDNESS I WILL NEVER FORGET-- MANY SAY THEY WILL HELP IN THE TIME OF NEED BUT DO THEY REALLY MEAN IT? TODAY'S BLESSING HAS RESTORED MY FAITH IN KNOWING THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO LIVE UP TO THE WORD AND FOLLOW THROUGH WITHOUT DRAMA.IN CLOSING YOU ALL HAVE A GREAT DAY AND REMEMBER TO PUT GOD FIRST!

I HAVE BEEN UP SINCE 5AM THIS MORNING AND I FEEL GREAT- GOD HAS BLESSED ME WITH ABUNDANCE OF ENERGY AND I AM PUTTING IT INTO GOOD USE-- TRUST ME I AINT TRYING TO LIFT NO PIANOS OR ANYTHING BUT I WILL TIDY UP(IN CASE OF SUPRISE VISITORS LIKE BEYONCE, GARY COLEMAN OR WILLIAM HUNG)---SO MY HOME ATTENDANT JUST ARRIVED AND THIS IS DAY 2 --I HAPPEN TO BE VERY PRIVATE AT HOME AND IM NOT SURE HOW LONG I WILL KEEP HIM--THERES NOT MUCH TO DO HERE EXCEPT MAINTAIN THE APT WITH THE KITCHEN AND BATHROOM NEEDING THE MOST ATTENTION -- OTHER THAN SOME SMALL ERRANDS IM BASICALLY A GOOD CLIENT(LOL)--THE WEATHER SHOULD BE REALLY CUTE TODAY -I WOULD LIKE TO GO OUT BUT I DO HAVE ABOUT 2 MORE WEEKS OF LOCKDOWN- I WILL TAKE IT SLOW AND WHEN ITS TIME FOR ME TO OUTSIDE I WILL DRESS ACCORDINGLY-- I NEED THE EXERCISE BECAUSE I DONT WANT MY MUSCLES(ALL 3 OF THEM)TO GET WEAK-----WELL THE HOME ATTENDANT(JOSE)IS BACK FROM DUANE READE AND WE NEED TO DISCUSS TODAY'S DUTIES-- CIAO FOR NOW AND REMEMBER JESUS LOVES U!

AS MENTIONED IN MY LAST ENTRY I JUST SPENT 8 VERY EMOTIONAL DAYS AT ST.VINCENTS HOSPITAL--I PERSONALLY DIDNT THINK I WOULD MAKE IT OUT TO WRITE THIS ENTRY BUT GOD IS IN CONTROL---IM GLAD I WENT SO THAT I COULD FIND OUT ALL OF MY AFFLICATIONS AT ONCE WITH NO SUPRISES-- MY CURRENT NUMBERS ARE 2TCELLS(VERY LOW) AND VIRAL LOAD IS VERY MEGA MILLIONS-- I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH CANDIDA(YEAST INFECTION OF STOMACH/ESOPHAGUS, WASTING SYNDROME(EXTREME WEIGHT LOSS)PCP(A FIERCE PNUEMONIA)AS WELL OF COURSE AS THE VIRUS - SOUNDS LIKE ALOT BUT IM A TROOPER AND THIS BATTLE IS NOT MINE IT'S THE LORDS--- MY CURRENT GOAL NOW IS TO GET A NEW DOCTOR FOR THE HIV, INCORPORATE A VERY STRICT FOOD REGIMENT CONSISTING OF FRUITS /VEGETABLES/WHEATGRASS/ AS WELL AS
INCORPORATING SOME HOLISTIC MODALITIES SUCH AS POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS, COLONIC THERAPY AND ACUPUNCTURE-- I NEED TO BE HEALED MIND, BODY AND SOUL(U FEEL ME?) I DID WANT TO MENTION THAT I DON'T WRITE THESE ENTRIES FOR PITY IF IT IS TOO MUCH TO HANDLE I DO UNDERSTAND AND I DONT MEAN TO OFFEND BUT THIS IS FOR THE MANY PEOPLE WHO WOULD AT LEAST LIKE TO KNOW HOW I AM DOING SINCE THE EMAILS ARE STILL FLOODING IN(BLESS U) AND I CANT ANSWER EVERY EMAIL THAT SAYS "HOW ARE U TODAY"-
I WILL CLOSE THIS OUT FOR NOW AND RESUME TOMORROW--- PEACE AND BLESSINGS

FOR THOSE WHO DIDNT KNOW - FOR THE LAST 8 DAYS I HAVE BEEN A PATIENT AT ST.VINCENTS HOSPITAL IN THE VILLAGE- MANY THINGS TRANSPIRED BUT IM GONNA KEEP IT SHORT FOR NOW-- CHECK THE BLOG SUN/MORN FOR MORE INFO AS MY STRENGTH INCREASES-- ALTHOUGH I AM HOME I HAVE A LONG ROAD OF RECOVERY BUT WITH FAITH IN GOD AND YOUR WONDERFUL EMAILS OF INSPIRATION - I WILL MAKE IT THROUGH---SO FOR NOW BE PATIENT AND CONTINUE TO CHECK THE BLOG
IF U WOULD LIKE TO SEND ME A CARD OR WHATEVER(SINCE PEOPLE HAVE BBEN ASKING)
HARMONICA SUNBEAM
C/O BRYANT
72 VAN REIPEN AVE
BOX 101
JERSEY CITY NJ 07306

THATS IT FOR NOW FOLKS-- NEED MY REST AND IM GLAD TO BE HOME!

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In The Valleys I Grow

Sometimes life seems hard to bear,
Full of sorrow, trouble and woe
It's then I have to remember
That it's in the valleys I grow.

If I always stayed on the mountain top
And never experienced pain,
I would never appreciate God's love
And would be living in vain.

I have so much to learn
And my growth is very slow,
Sometimes I need the mountain tops,
But it's in the valleys I grow.

I do not always understand
Why things happen as they do,
But I am very sure of one thing.
My Lord will see me through.

My little valleys are nothing
When I picture Christ on the cross
He went through the valley of death;
His victory was Satan's loss.

Forgive me Lord, for complaining
When I'm feeling so very low.
Just give me a gentle reminder
That it's in the valleys I grow.

Continue to strengthen me, Lord
And use my life each day
To share your love with others
And help them find their way.

Thank you for valleys, Lord
For this one thing I know
The mountain tops are glorious

But it's in the valleys I grow!

HARMONICA ON HIATUS



TODAY IS
THE DAY I REALIZED I COULD NO LONGER BE THE TEA DANCE HOSTESS.
AS MUCH AS I WANT TO COME OUT, GET BEAUTIFUL AND ENTERTAIN YOU, I HAD TO FACE
REALITY. EACH WEEK I FOUGHT A PERSONAL BATTLE TRYING TO MAKE IT IN TO WORK AND
SEE YOUR SMILING FACES BUT I WAS JUST TOO WEAK AND TIRED TO DO SO. THE ONLY WAY
I COULD RELIEVE YOU, MY BOSS AND SUGGA PIE IS BY OFFICIALLY LEAVING SO IT WOULDNT
BE A QUESTION EVERY WEEK AS TO ME SHOWING UP. THIS HAS
BEEN A VERY DIFFICULT DECISION FOR ME TO MAKE.

THERE ARE MANY RUMORS OUT THERE AS WE SPEAK BUT TODAY I WILL TELL YOU THE DEAL. FOR THE LAST 8 MONTHS I HAVE BEEN FIGHTING A VICIOUS BATTLE WITH HIV/AIDS. AT THE CURRENT TIME THINGS ARE SOMEWHAT BLEAK BUT I'M SURE GOD WILL SEE ME THROUGH THIS AND BRING ME BACK TO THE STAGE AND THE LOVING ARMS OF MY SUPPORTERS IF THIS IS HIS WILL.

BEFORE THIS GETS TOO MUCH EMOTIONAL FOR ME I WILL CLOSE THIS MESSAGE AND ASK THAT ANYONE WHO READS THIS TO SAY A PRAYER FOR ME. I LOVE YOU AND WILL SEE U. REAL SOON.

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CORRESPOND WITH ME VIA EMAIL FEEL FREE TO DO SO AT TRAKK13@AOL.COM. I ONLY ASK THAT YOUR MAIL BE SHORT AND SWEET AND ON AN INSPIRATIONAL LEVEL (NO DIRTY PICS OR THINGS OF THAT NATURE).

PEACE AND BLESSINGS
HARMONICA SUNBEAM

To Download Full Video you will need the Veoh Client. The Software is free. Go HERE Download and Install Software Once installed go to this LINK on that page is a link called DOWNLOAD THIS VIDEO. Click DOWNLOAD THIS VIDEO and file will download to your hard drive. You need to launch veoh viewer , then visit downloaded folder and you view file.

HARMONICA'S PUMPING - VIDEO PAGE

* BODY SUIT PUMP - click for real player video

HARMONICA SUNBEAM AT THE APOLLO THEATER IN NYC . - click for real player video - right click to save to your hard drive

HARMONICA SUNBEAM AT THE DUPLEX IN NYC. - click for real player video - right click to save to your hard drive * New Video - APRIL 22. 05 -

HARMONICA SUNBEAM PUMPS. - click for real player video - right click to save to your hard drive

Harmonica Sunbeam , The Queen of Comedy has been delighting audiences at nightclubs, cabarets and fundraising events up and down the the East Coast for over 10 years now. Her live appearances along with her personalized dvds, have gained her a cult following of all ages races and backgrounds.

With her unique yet classic style and razor-sharp wit, she has all the necessary talents to reach her goal of mainstream stardom."The sky's the limit!" Harmonica exclaims. "In the entertainment field, if people feel you are marketable, they will use you in any capacity".She has been featured on several television shows(Law and Order SVU, Third Watch, Johnny Zero and 100 Center Street). Her film credits include Honey w/Jessica Alba, Uptown Girls w/Brittany Murphy and the soon to be released Olive Stone drama "WORLD TRADE CENTER".

Harmonica has also entered the world of music with three pumping club singles that were produced independently buy yet made thousands of new and lifelong fans.These titles include "Ready to Pump", "I'm Here To Work" and the latest "This Is The Beat".

Despite her busy schedule Miss Sunbeam has still found time to assist and work with many community based gay organizations such as POCC, GMAD, Jersey City Pride and AAOGC to name a few. Her committment to being a positive role model in today's selfish world clearly speaks for itself.
In closing, Harmonica wants to take the time out and thank all of her fans that continue to support her endeavors both on and off the stage.

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